You will get nothing and like it, Orange-Man.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Big 10 Preview: Purdue

Fact: Joe Tiller wears a girdle under his dungarees.

Fact: I have a friend in his 30's who still wakes up in a cold sweat with night terrors because he's afraid of Gene Keady.

Fact: Purdue is known for being horrible defensively, yet they've sent more guys from the defensive side of the ball to the NFL than Penn State this century.

Fact: The stupidest (and ugliest girl) I've ever met flunked out of Iowa State, went to Purdue, and graduated with honors.

Fact: Defensive Coordinator Brock Spack originally worked in the San Fernando Valley as a fluffer for Johhny Wadd.

Fact: Purdue hasn't won an outright Big 10 title in Joe Paterno's lifetime.

Fact: During spring practice, Defensive Coordinator Brock Spack asked for ideas on a nickname for his defense, in an effort to get them to play with a nasty attitude. There was a full minute of dumb silence, followed by Offensive Coordinator Bill Legg saying, "how 'bout the Maginot Line?" Despite the best efforts of Spack, the name stuck.

Fact: Dustin Keller is the best tight end in the Big 10.

Fact: Giving up 5 YPC on the ground will give you plenty of free time to watch big time Division I college football on television in January.

Fact: The only way to make people forget you missed a game because of a paintball injury is to get stabbed in the chest.

Fact: 3 Boilermakers is the perfect amount. Never drink 4.

Fact: I started out writing a "real" preview, like a "journalist", but then I read Brian's at mgoblog and decided everyone would be better served if I just led you to his Purdue preview. Enjoy.


LadyAndrea said...

The one and only time I did a boilermaker, there are two pictures. One of me smiling, holding the shot above the pint glass. And the next one is of me bent over, heaving into the bushes.

Good preview, JHC.

LadyAndrea said...

Also, Keady scares the shit out of me too. But I love that cranky old bastard.