Cedric Everson should play right away, according to Cedric Everson

Here's where Media Day gets fun. The first day's articles are always chock full of blindingly obvious shit like, "the offense will depend on its quarterback and running back!" Really? We're not even going to try the 11-lineman formation? Bullshit!

The real fun happens on Wednesdays and Thursdays. That's when we hear from nutballs like Jon Misch and incoming cornerback Cedric Everson.

"I do want to play this year," Everson said Monday during Iowa's annual football media day. "I don't want to redshirt. Why? Because I think that's just wasting time. You're not going to learn anything redshirting.

[snip]

Everson was recruited to play cornerback, but he also wants the football in his hands. He amassed more than 4,900 all-purpose yards during high school.

"I enjoy playing cornerback, but I really enjoy kick returning and punt returning," he said.

Oh, to be a kid again. While Kirk Ferentz would probably strenuously disagree with the notion that there's no learning to be done during the redshirt year, there may be some measure of truth to Everson's statement. He may very well not learn anything.

Those of you who follow this stuff way too closely (cough) may remember Everson's odd recruitment. He originally committed to Georgia Tech, then didn't, then committed to Michigan State, then didn't, then signed with Iowa on February 2. Bellwether Dog, your thoughts?
We're with you, pal. Confusion reigns today.

But, whatever, right? A 4-star cornerback is a 4-fucking-star cornerback, right? Well, not quite.

At signing day, Brian from the iconic mgoblog let on that Everson may be more trouble than he's worth:

Cedric Everson. Circus freak who claimed offers from every program in the country, then committed to Georgia Tech. GT later pulled his offer. He committed to State, then decommitted on Signing Day to Iowa. Michigan never pursued him, and even though he may be able to run fast Michigan doesn't have to put up with radioactive nuts like him.

Radioactive nuts? I wish I had radioactive nuts. Who doesn't want babymakers that glow in the dark? I digress. Whether the Jackets pulled the offer or he just decommitted or what exactly happened seems unclear at this point; there was a staff shakeup and it looks as if both parties went their separate ways.

Brian later had this to say about Everson:

he may or may not be a talented kid. I do know that his rumored offer list was almost totally fictional and that the stats he offered up to recruiting sites (10 pr touchdowns as a junior) were ludicrous. Michigan never even looked at him. We may regret that down the line, but he's given a lot of indications that he may be more trouble than he's worth, no offense to the Hawks.

So uh... so that's nice.

Now, of course I'm not going to insinuate that Ferentz and company recruited The Entertainer just on his word; that'd be insane and wildly illogical and, well, that clearly didn't happen. It does seem like he misused the recruiting sites to increase his own notoriety, and that while he could still very well be a great cornerback, we can't know that based on what scout.com tells us.

Any lessons you've learned from screwing with everybody, Cedric?

"My dad taught me to always be humble. I wasn't really into the media. I don't mind being in the limelight but not like that."

Cedric then dunked on Shaq, created a perpetual motion machine, and ascended into heaven. Reportedly.