You will get nothing and like it, Orange-Man.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Things Just Got Real

The rumors have been confirmed and it isn't good (it never is). According to the ICPC, Iowa WR's Dominique Douglas and Anthony Bowman were arrested Sunday Morning for unauthorized use of credit cards. That's a felony, lawya. They've been charged with using those credit cards to make $2,016.76 in purchases at area businesses. The credit cards belonged to two separate victims. Although their "plan" didn't show a lot of cunning, at least they went all out and robbed two separate people. Way to get yours, guys.

I'm not going to call them kids and apologize for them. This isn't that kind of story. If everything I've read is true and they did this, I don't want them wearing an Iowa jersey anytime soon. This isn't getting drunk and relieving yourself in an alley (which I've done on occasion). This isn't having a few pops and getting into a scrap. This is theft and that's got nothing to do with piss, vinegar, or bourbon. It's got to do with being a thief, and a bad one at that. These two wiseguys stole credit cards, went to an Athletic Department computer (which I can assume required them to sign in with their own ID), and ordered hats. Yes, hats. I could see using them to order jet skis and rims for the whip but they went to Hatworld and Sneakerhead. The youth of America worries me. The whole thing is embarrassing, ignorant, and shameful.

How does this affect the team? Douglas was the top Freshman WR in the nation last year and was expected to start. Bowman played special teams and was expected to get some offensive snaps this year. We have Andy Brodell and Trey Stross, among others, to throw to, but we don't have anyone that can replace DD. As much as this whole thing makes me sick, how'd you like to be Jake Christensen this morning?
Sadly, this won't be the last you'll hear about this. We'll keep you posted as things develop.

11 comments:

LadyAndrea said...

I don't want them in black & gold either, but goddamn does this piss me off.

Oops Pow Surprise said...

So the criminal complaint includes easily verifiable information on the following:

Who: Bowman and Douglas
What: Unauthorized credit card use of over $2000
When: In May, 2007
Where: At least three specific area businesses
How: Via university computers, using their individualized HawkID.

The why, ostensibly being a total lack of non-felonious judgment, isn't exactly relevant to the case; who cares why they did it? It can't be for any noble purpose. It's fucking hats and kicks and whatever C&E sells.

The odds that Douglas and Bowman DIDN'T commit the felony of unauthorized use of credit cards? About 0%. Sadly.

Deacon said...

So we're reducing Hat World to "fucking hats," are we? When was the last time you shopped at H-world, OPS, if you've even been there. Expect a strongly worded letter with your name on it from the Coral Ridge Mall. Defamation!

JHC said...

:OPS: Way to break it down. You should start a blog! Listen you already write 50 posts a week here, can you not take my comment section and clean up my story for me?
Bastard.

:Deacon: Nice of you to stop by.

:LA: At least they'll look good in court!

Anonymous said...

OPS,

Well, so much for our prior debate regarding whether DD or Stross should be starting, eh?

Brent

JHC said...

:Brent: When I heard about this story last night at midnight, I told him this would be our first real chance to prove what an idiot he is. Just this once, I hope you and I are wrong.

LadyAndrea said...

I'm just hoping Andy Brodell has his A game ready to go.

Signal to Noise said...

The fitteds were too hot not to order, and the methods used to purchase them were even hotter. I blame this on the failure of the American school system. You'd think we could raise smarter crooks.

Piranha said...

Detroit dirtbags, is anyone really that surprised. I'm sure Miami would be more than happy to throw them on their roster. Or maybe UNI, circa Benny Sapp. Whatever the case, get them the hell outta here.

Mac G said...

So the Hawks 2 starting Wrs are now whiteboys? Kevin Kasper would be proud. These kids are absolute IDIOTS!

Anonymous said...

Maybe the athletic department should supply better hats to the players. Issues like this could be avoided completely