You will get nothing and like it, Orange-Man.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Cue the obligatory overreactions about Facebook

This is going to come as a shock to nobody, but the bottom-feeders at the Press-Citizen have discovered that many football players use facebook, and they are shocked--SHOCKED!!--to find out that the football players behave like, well, typical 18-22 year-olds.
The Facebook pages of more than 20 underaged University of Iowa football players have photos appearing to show them engaging alcohol in various ways, from drinking to posing with liquor bottles or beer cans.

In addition, several UI football players have messages attached to their profiles that discuss alcohol consumption, racial slurs and other offensive subjects.
OH MY GODDAMN GOD BEER CANS CANCEL THE SEASON!

The rest of the article is similarly stupid, and presented with an O'Reilly-esque disregard for irony. The reporter, Brian Morelli, seems content to play the "I'm just telling our readers what's out there" card, except for one key portion of the article:
The Press-Citizen e-mailed [associate athletics director Fred Mims] several of the additional images it found during its review of players' Facebook sites, and Mims did not immediately return calls for comment.
Fuck you, dude. It's one thing to "report," but this business of trying to bust the players yourself is cheap bullshit.

Oh, in case you folks are curious, the reporter (Brian Morelli) is also on facebook... and is also dumb enough to make his profile public to the UI community. And this just in: Brian Morelli is lame as fuck. Some "highlights":

Activities: press-citizen
Interests: writing; juggling; biking; hiking; cooking; hanging out with my fam; people watching; pissing into my own mouth

[If you want to be a stickler, I made that last one up. -OPS]

He's also got some pictures of his kids, which he may have purchased on the black market. Even more disturbing, though, is one picture where the reporter is present:


Look at all that alcohol! You've got kids, Morelli, and you're throwing it all away!

We expect his indefinite suspension by 8 a.m. Monday morning.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Best. Entry. Ever.

Hawkeye State said...

Amen, OPS. What a douche rocket.

Run Up The Score! said...

Hi, I was wondering what your opinions are of Brian Morelli. Thanks in advance.

I asked the question yesterday over at my place -- what expectation of privacy should people have regarding Facebook and Myspace?

Obviously, it's a big university in which kids are going to fuck around. I mean, this stuff?

Two photos show players drinking shots of alcohol. Another photo shows a player "shotgunning" a beer. In another, a player and a group of friends are posing in front of someone vomiting. One shows a player posing next to a table of liquor bottles. Two photos show players holding someone up during a keg stand. Another photo shows a player sitting beside four pitchers of beer.

Not to brag too much, but that's the least I did in college, and look at me! Lawyer with an MBA! No jail time, ever! Not particularly wealthy, but still a mildly functional part of society! How did I ever escape that web of hedonism and depravity?

I mean, college kids drinking and taking pictures of their drunk asshole friends? THE HORROR.

Oops Pow Surprise said...

I think the more pertinent issue is expectations of conduct, not privacy. The notion that athletes are drinking to intoxication before they're 21 is far too obvious to even warrant mention. This Puritanical tattlefest bullshit serves two purposes: to (unsuccessfully) create trouble within the athletic department, and to (again unsuccessfully) let the reporter think he's a bona fide investigative journalist. Both, I assure you, miserable failures. Nobody with an ounce of common sense is either surprised or upset that this behavior goes on. It happens everywhere all the time, and life goes on.

Anonymous said...

Please everyone flood this D-Bag with wall posts.

JHC said...

I hope this doesn't damage our burgeoning relationship with the Press-Citizen. You know they linked to us this week for more info on The Douglas/Bowman Affair.
Oh, well. We'll always have the DM Register!

Mac G said...

I could not have said it any better. What a freaking tool. I am sure Bill OReily will be all over this outrage.

Run Up The Score! said...

OPS -- I think that's a very good point, because people just don't realize the context of these sorts of photos, and I mean that in a sincere way. Nobody takes pictures of themselves and their friends studying for exams, working out, or just generally sitting around doing nothing.

For people to look at these photos and leap to the assumption that, "oh my god, [Football Program _______] is out of fucking control!" is ridiculous. It's certainly not worthy of any publication that purports to have any sort of journalistic integrity. It's lazy tabloid shit, nothing more.

The pictures of the Iowa players holding the cash are funny because they got busted trying to use fake credit cards. Without that context, they're just a couple of douchebags pretending they're in an Icy Hot Stuntaz video.

Hawkeye State said...

Icy Hot Stuntaz? Wow, I was thinking of Juvenile and the Ca$h Money Millionaires. Just goes to show, I haven't listened to hip hop since 2002.

Run Up The Score! said...

Well, I was trying to think of the most offensive group possible, and what's more offensive than a bunch of pre-teen suburban white kids posing in front of expensive cars? I submit, nothing.

Weird thing about black culture, the emphasis on wads of loose cash. I never did understand it, but a white guy from the mountains of Pennsylvania.

dmbmeg said...

Football players drink?

Next breaking news story: football players have sex with women!

Gasp!

Corn Nation said...

After the Gophers had their problems and suspended four players due to rape charges, one of the cheesy stations in town ran a piece on Gophers' players on MySpace with much the same content.

Oh the outrage. One such photograph appeared for a split second on the news of a Gopher player holding a pitcher up and appearing a little deranged.

After it was shown, the Gopher athletic department complained that the particular Gopher player in mind didn't even consume alcohol and that it was a pitcher of tea (and for all we know that may have been the truth, give the kid the benefit of the doubt, the picture was literally on-screen for less than a second).

The station's reaction? They felt justified using the pictures because the Gopher Athletic Department failed to respond to them.

What a bunch of shit, but that's the news, ain't it? If there's smoke, let's create some fire.

Deacon said...

@corn nation

I can confirm that the gophers are active tea drinkers. It's Mason's legacy: he believed in the consumption of gallons of loose-leaf green tea as a cleansing measure. These efforts were to prevent obstruction of the chi (or ch'i/Qi). Mason felt very strongly about fielding a team whose running game flowed from the chi instead of in spite of the chi.