You will get nothing and like it, Orange-Man.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Not the Clone Zone, But it's Close: Big Ten Bloggers Roundtable

This week's Big Ten Blogger roundtable is brought to you by PSU blog There Is No Name on My Jersey, which is preparing to keep the echoes asleep this weekend.

1. Clearly, Week 1 was a huge week for upsets with Appalachin St. beating Michigan and Clemson beating FSU (though if that really shocked anyone I'd be surprised). What are your upset games for Week 2 and why?

We certainly have a liberal interpretation of upset, don't we? Didn't we all see Tommy's beatdown of his senile father coming from a mile away? Bobby Bowden is so old, he recently applied for a position with Per Mar Security.

I'll say it: Northern Iowa walks into Jack Trice and lays the lumber to Iowa State. UNI has a four-year starter at quarterback, enough talent at the skill positions to be scary, an experienced defense, and some confidence (they only lost by 1 point at Ames last year). And, after watching a replay of ISU/Kent State, I can safely say the Clones look as bad as they have since the Jim Walden era. Plus, I just really want to see this happen, and where there's a will, there's a way.

Am I the only person thinking we're giving too much credit to UCLA? Even though they have a wealth of talent and experience (and Ben Olson behind center), they're still being coached by Karl Dorrell, right? His presence alone is enough to make BYU a possible upset special this weekend.

I'm not predicting an upset here (though I like the Buffs to cover the +14 1/2), but is anyone else looking forward to Colorado at Arizona State? Dennis Erickson vs. Thunder Dan Hawkins, folks! Is there any way this game ends without an ASU reserve caught trying to steal something from the Buffs bench, followed by Hawkins beating him within an inch of his life?

Dan Hawkins: Once killed a drifter
just to get an erection

2. What do you think about the BTN? How'd it look? How were the announcers? Did the first weekend change your opinion of the BTN?

If you asked me this question on Sunday morning, I would have said "eh..."
  • Thom Brennanman suffers from Joe Buck overstatement syndrome and Charles Davis has repeatedly proven himself as a top-shelf moron (for those who don't remember, these two teamed with Barry Alvarez and Chris Myers in a sick, twisted attempt at ruining last season's Boise State-Boomer Sooner game). And this is their #1 team.
  • Mike Tomczak is unquestionably the worst color commentator in the history of the universe. He's so bad, he was fired by ESPN without groping anyone or calling anything gay. He called Iowa's 2004 6-4 victory over Penn State. At one point, the cameras caught a group of PSU students with their chests painted. Pam Ward (who sounded like Benjamin Disraeli in comparison to Tomczak) joked that Mike's children were in the group of shirtless kids. Tomczak, who obviously was born without a sense of humor, yelled back that his kids were at home with their mother. Yeah, he's an idiot.
  • They've provided Glen Mason gainful employment for reasons passing understanding.
  • There's a sideline reporter named MaryRachel Dick. I'm not making this up.
But their studio show wasn't too bad (especially if you remember all the old Gerry DiNardo jokes from his time at Indiana), and at least they found a spot for Mike Hall. Throw in replays and classic games during the week, and I'm pleasantly surprised.

3. Now that we're a game into the Season evaluate the Big Ten's strength.

'Twas not a good week for the Big Ten. Big Blue was certainly bad enough (and resurrected those complaints from last year), Minnesota was putrid, and the Zooker is still too busy smelling hair to win a game. Everyone else held true to form. It's far too early to make an evaluation, but it's a C+ right now.


Bucketochicken said...

I'm with ya on the UNI-ISU game. No way ISU could pull off an upset like that, even at home. UNI by a touch, if not more.

Nice post, HawkeyeState. Pretty good for only having the internets since 2005.

Hawkeye State said...

I'm a quick learner.

the spectator said...

Dudes and dudettes, its going to be a miserable year in (L)Ames, IA.

The Clowns may not win a game this year. I think UNI is going to wack them around like Buford Pusser hyped up on too much Diet Coke, and take their lunch money and the 3 good looking girls on the ISU campus back to Cedarloo to teach them evil things and loose morals.

Toledo is not going to lose to the Clowns on their home field. Purdue is MUCH better than Toledo or ISU, but Toledo is better than ISU.

And its going to get even grimmer when the Big 12 schedule gets underway. ISU is the worst team in the Big 12, they're clutching the bottom of the totem pole below ground, in the wet, cold dirt.

Anonymous said...

I think you're selling Thom Brennaman short. He did a nice job. He's also not a rampant screamer, which is my biggest pet peeve (some of the FOX west coast broadcasters fall into that category). I would have loved to have seen Wayne Larivee as the #1 guy, but that's just because I loved listening to him calling Bears games when I was a kid.