The hell with the BTN, put me in THE CLONE ZONE!

The Big Ten Network has been taking its lumps for its role in hostage-like negotiations, and rightfully so. There's something confusing and backwards about a network acquiring rights to games before taking care of distribution, but clearly I've got a lot to learn about negotiation and corporate greed.

Anyhoo, if the deal gets done, then you'll pay a little more per month and you'll be able to watch the games. If it doesn't, then you can go somewhere that does get it--either a friend's house or an establishment. Regardless, though the posturing is irritating, it's only moderately inconvenient and expensive.

Not so for Iowa State fans (both of them). Literally the only way they can enjoy tonight's game against Kent State (without putting on National Guard uniforms, anyway) is by entering... the Clone Zone. It's not nearly as cool as it sounds, so quit dreaming of cloned human zombies and explosions.

No, the Clone Zone is a subscription-based internet service that provides exclusive(!!!!!) ISU sports content, including tonight's game against Kent State and the September 22 Toledo game. Seriously. Only on the computer. As far as THE CLONE ZONE goes, the press release breathlessly asks:

Have you ever wanted to watch the weekly or post-game media conferences, take a virtual tour of the locker room, listen to post-practice interviews with student-athletes, view historical footage or coaches’ TV shows or walk with the team on the way to the field?

On behalf of everyone who has ever lived: No.

So Iowa State fans are relegated to sitting inside at their 15" cow-powered computer monitors to watch choppy game footage from a very limited amount of cameras. Certainly Iowa State wouldn't have the temerity to charge their fans anyth

Monthly subscriptions cost $8.95 and a yearly subscription costs $79.95.

Oh god. 80 bucks a year? Eighty? Well, fine. For that kind of money, I'm sure the service will be impecc

Toledo, as host of the football game against ISU, will be responsible for providing the video feed to Iowa State for the web cast. The audio will likely be the Rockets’ radio team.

God I love the Cyclones.

Actually worse than cloned human zombies.

BTN and Mediacom reach a deal. Maybe. Wait--no.

In a move that isn't really surprising at all--least of all the time frame--Mediacom has decided to actually show the Big Ten network here in Iowa.

That's about all we know at the moment, this is BREAKING NEWS PEOPLE!

[4:15 p.m. UPDATE(!!!!): Now the athletic department is playing stupid. For crying out loud, guys. Either a deal's done or it isn't. Nobody's benefiting from this "I can't tell you; it's a secret" charade.

Case in point: Elizabeth Conlisk, the Big Ten Network's vice president of communications also denied the deal was completed. "I can't characterize the discussions in any way," she said. Thanks for doing your job, VP of communications. Big help. We're all really looking forward to even more not-at-all shady business from the Big 10.]

Two WR's are reportedly in huge trouble

We started hearing some rumors last night about a couple guys on the team being busted for felonious behavior. It's all been about Dominique Douglas and Anthony Bowman, and it's all been really bad. Felony bad.

There hasn't been any solid information from newspapers or similarly reputable sources yet. As such, we don't have any news, good or bad, for you; just the faint reassurance that neither player shows up in the State of Iowa courts database yet. [UPDATE: Two papers are reporting the players were arrested Sunday.] An admin at one big site is saying there is a court date set for September 5. If that's the case, they need to be suspended; there's nothing that can help them on a football field anymore.

We're desperate for information, so if any readers have any updates, please send them off our way at the address listed to the right. What we will not do, however, is publish unverified rumors. There's plenty of those on the message board, where only fools dare tread.

We'll be keeping our eyes and ears open throughout the day, and if there's any silver lining to a situation like this one, it's that these sorts of rumors are going to be either verified or disproved very quickly. When that happens, we'll move on.

Goddammit.

Being a reporter doesn't mean tossing your critical thinking skills out the window

Two articles available today about the Big Ten network: One is from the Press-Citizen's Ryan Suchomel, with the unfortunate title of "BTN set to tackle airwaves." It starts off with this wholly unbiased gem:

The Big Ten Network plans to provide fans with all the Big Ten football news they could ever want.

Wow! Neato! The rest of the article is just quotes from a few of the on-air guys, preceded by Suchomel saying what they said, but with different words.

Griffith, a former Illinois player, said Big Ten fans are going to love what they find on the BTN.

"They are going to see stories and features they weren't able to see," Griffith said. "This network has to appeal to the Big Ten fan. They are passionate about all of the games. I'm excited to be a part of it."

Sigh. I mean, what can you say about an article like this? Is it intellectually dishonest? Depends on if Suchomel believes all this shit. Is it lazy reporting? Absolutely. Is it typical of a Gannett paper to toe the "fuck the consumers" line? That's a question for another day (short answer: yes).

Steve Batterson at the QC Times (quickly becoming the paper of record for Hawkeye information), meanwhile, should probably send a thank you card to the sports desk at the PC, because they're making him look awfully good just for pointing out the stunningly obvious: this network is going to take a lot of your money.

Three words of advice when it comes to talking about the current spat between the Big Ten Network and Mediacom – watch your wallet.

As the opening paragraph of a story I wrote more than a year ago when plans for the network were announced, watching Big Ten games in the future will come with a price.

That will not change, no matter how the current impasse between the network and major cable players throughout the region plays out.

From a strict "for the conference and its members" standpoint, this is a noble undertaking. The network is expecting to pour about $7 million a year of revenue into the coffers of each member of the Big 10. How they expect to do that while trying to mean-mug the cable companies into caving in, of course, remains to be seen.

From the cable operators' standpoint... well, good luck trying to get in their mindset. While Mediacom's tussle with Sinclair a few months ago was well-understood, the ESPNU one wasn't. Oh well. As long as cable refuses to allow a la carte channel selection, they'll be a bunch of greedy bastards. Seriously, why charge us for channels we're never going to watch? I imagine plenty of Americans would have a cable lineup similar to mine: Basic channels, Discovery, the ESPN family, TNT, Comedy Central, and Soap Net (don't judge me!). Yet I digress.

Last, the questions remain for the fans: Do you really want to have to pay dozens of dollars a year for shit that's only interesting when it's your own team? How is the channel's programming during the summer months not going to be totally unwatchable? Isn't a march to only subscribe to the channel for 4 months a year pretty much inevitable? Last, if revenue's going to be spread equally, then of that money you're dropping for the network (and its inevitable surrounding tier of channels), lots won't even see the Big 10, then the conference will take its skim, then only 1/11 of it goes to your favorite school. You going to be okay with that while Penn State and Wisconsin duke it out in male field hockey this summer?