tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86371819956072252182011-07-07T20:58:23.832-05:00Black Heart / Gold PantsJHCnoreply@blogger.comBlogger871100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-76168917702725234552007-09-11T08:41:00.000-05:002007-09-11T08:52:46.744-05:00

Cue the mothafuckin' Jeffersons:We're movin' on up...to a new site. Come visit us at our dee-luxe apartment at Black Heart Gold Pants (www.blackheartgoldpants.com). All the same Hawkeye fun, none of that unsettling blogspot aftertaste.See ya there.THC

Hawkeye Statehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894608148962290244noreply@blogger.com41tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-53672696378046362312007-09-10T10:11:00.000-05:002007-09-10T10:53:23.737-05:00

We've got a lot on our plates not only here at THC (oh boy, have we got lots to talk about, readers), but in the real world as well. So pardon our momentary lack of content while we take care of earning a living.The upcoming week will feature brawls, defensive lunacy, exploding spaceships, liberal use of the "iowa state sucks so bad" tag, a wonderful change of scenery for us... and murder.Stay

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-82344888681012967332007-09-09T18:10:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:29.319-06:00

Iowa 35 - Syracuse 0We will, of course, go over this game in much more detail tomorrow, but here's what you need to know: the Iowa defense is very good, and the Syracuse football team is not. The Flyin' Hawaiian, TE Tony Moeaki, gained more yards in three quarters than Syracuse did all game long. It's not time to start reserving your tickets to Pasadena yet, but the plain and simple fact is that

JHCnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-81022165363647247722007-09-09T09:45:00.000-05:002007-09-09T10:00:21.154-05:00

Every once in awhile, something falls into your lap. You can't believe your luck and don't know what to do with it. I say you because that never happens to me. I always know what to do and now this is happenin'. We were talking Big East football, at EDSBS a couple months ago, and my partner, OPS, said something so ridiculous, I had to confirm that he wasn't sniffing glue (which is why it took me

JHCnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-78534330656297665712007-09-08T11:42:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:30.653-06:00

Syracuse travels to Iowa today for what I like to call a "resume game" for Greg Robinson. He knows he can't win, he's waiting to be fired at his current job, and he's just looking for a soft place to fall. You watch him when he greets Coach Ferentz at the end of the game, that's not a playsheet he's surreptitiously handing him, it's a resume. Hang on, first, let me tell you how Greg Robinson got

JHCnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-74414627382384416832007-09-07T16:31:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:30.889-06:00

Think about the Syracuse football program. Do it. DO AS I SAY! Now, consider the names that come to mind: Donovan McNabb, Marvin Harrison, Troy Nunes, Larry Csonka, Jim Brown, etc. Their post-WW2 history is dripping with big names--big names that haven't been there for a long, long time. Now, without looking, name one current all-conference Syracuse player. Hell, name one current Syracuse player.

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-72838713788535731442007-09-07T09:04:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:31.161-06:00

So, the Zooker read my gambling post (below this one) and was a little miffed he didn't get mentioned. He's been calling me at least once a week since the Big 10 Media Conference. I finally gave him my AIM so he'd lay off on the drunk dials. The following is the unedited chat log from our conversation at 3:30 this morning: 3:34 AM ZookHook: what up, brah??? 3:35 AM ZookHook: YO!! I see yer lite.

JHCnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-57435534608691152162007-09-07T02:08:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:32.476-06:00

We don't gamble here at THC. It's a dangerous habit that's torn away at our nation's fabric. It's particularly disturbing when you read how many college kids are throwing away hard earned beer money to bookies. It's a national tragedy. However, we can't stop you from gambling and we're not judging you. In fact, we're here to help! So if you're going to gamble, stop by here first, and we'll guide

JHCnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-1713447329979384682007-09-06T18:49:00.000-05:002007-09-06T19:09:04.888-05:00

Long snapper Clint Huntrods was arrested by Iowa City policemen, apparently for being too awesome (via Hawkmania)...Iowa football player Clint Huntrods, 22, was arrested by Iowa City police early Thursday morning and cited for interference with official acts, public intoxication and urinating in public.Huntrods, a senior and the Hawkeyes’ backup long snapper, was taken into custody at 2:25 a.m.

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-54908467142112455942007-09-05T21:58:00.000-05:002007-09-05T22:14:44.908-05:00

You thought we were tough on Brian Morelli's Carl-Monday-esque look at Facebook. From last Wednesday's Press-Citizen letters to the editor:The article on football players' facebook pages was interesting ("Alcohol abundant on players' sites," Aug. 23), in its association of disgusting misogyny with alcohol abuse, and in how it provided a springboard to change the subject midstream, and hype the

Hawkeye Statehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894608148962290244noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-21690176174945778732007-09-05T18:58:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:37.163-06:00

This week's Big Ten Blogger roundtable is brought to you by PSU blog There Is No Name on My Jersey, which is preparing to keep the echoes asleep this weekend.1. Clearly, Week 1 was a huge week for upsets with Appalachin St. beating Michigan and Clemson beating FSU (though if that really shocked anyone I'd be surprised). What are your upset games for Week 2 and why?We certainly have a liberal

Hawkeye Statehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894608148962290244noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-74286022831929650552007-09-05T14:31:00.000-05:002007-09-05T14:59:10.177-05:00

Less predictiony/More predilectiony RankTeamDelta1LSU 1 2Southern Cal 1 3West Virginia 04Oklahoma 2 5Louisville 5 6Florida 2 7California 7 8Texas 3 9Arkansas 0 10Penn State 3 11Ohio State 0 12Wisconsin 3 13Georgia 9 14Georgia Tech 12 15Virginia Tech 816Oregon 4 17UCLA 1 18Boise State 8 19Auburn 7 20Nebraska 1 21Rutgers 0 22Iowa 2 23Hawaii 2 24Alabama 4 25South Carolina 8 Dropped Out: Michigan,

JHCnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-11012807713395015432007-09-05T12:35:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:37.425-06:00

There is nothing about Syracuse Man to like, but it's his eyes that reach into your soul and turn your joie de vivre into a festering mass of decay and filth. You cannot look away from Syracuse Man, and you will never, ever be the same.Gaze upon my wig and tremble, puny human!(HT to TV Tan Lines)

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-74462275831811458502007-09-05T11:42:00.000-05:002007-09-05T11:47:29.180-05:00

We mentioned last week that Alex Kanellis would be hanging up the cleats for the year. As it turns out, the concussions are forcing Alex off the field for good.Eric Page over at the QC Times' Hawkmania.com (the site that should have replaced HawkCentral in your bookmarks long ago) has a writeup about Kanellis, and it's predictably depressing.“You have to be smart,” Ferentz said. “Everybody’s

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-79438283341673706662007-09-04T20:08:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:37.825-06:00

Dear Andy Brodell's hands,In the past, I have repeatedly compared you to cloven hooves. I have said you couldn't catch a cold. I have blamed you for the Indiana loss and the end of Drew Tate. I have ripped you so vigorously that my father has dubbed your owner "the whipping boy."But it is a new season, and a new start for all of us. And so I write you to apologize. We might have gotten off

Hawkeye Statehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894608148962290244noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-5115886344686426192007-09-04T19:00:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:38.292-06:00

There were plenty of expressions of joy from the players on Saturday, but none were as poignant and awe-inspiring as Travis Meade's celebration with unwitting teammate Damian Sims:What a masterful run! Allow me to perform a Flying Romanian Throatclogger!

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-91531065379338318852007-09-04T15:54:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:38.604-06:00

In the weeks since his arrest, it seems like Anthony Bowman is going about his punishment the right way. He is open and apologetic to the media, and he sounds as if he understands why he's being punished. Now, unless we learn that his involvement in the case was much smaller than earlier reports indicate, he'll likely be suspended for the year--heck, even if he isn't, he's so far behind in

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-56648770023306187302007-09-04T11:18:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:39.158-06:00

Here's why athletic directors are frowning this morning... And if we find out he let you change the preset radio stations, so help us God...: On Friday, Texas suspended wideout Billy Pittman for three games for the unspeakably criminal act of borrowing a friend's car during the summer. The NCAA equates such an act with a renunciation of one's amateur status, which is helpful knowledge if you

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-80881104226500899992007-09-03T20:18:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:40.278-06:00

This is such bullshit.We got ready for the game by watching film of the Hawkeyes last year, and we were excited. How could we lose? They had good linebackers, a wholly immobile defensive line, and a secondary made of tinder and oily rags. I saw what Kellen Lewis did, and Kellen Lewis is no Dan "The Danimal" Nicholson.Yeah. So imagine my joy when I drop back on third and decent during our very

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-30346326977454868732007-09-02T17:57:00.001-05:002007-09-02T18:17:32.985-05:00

Things just got real. I've watched 12 games and read 50 recaps and box scores since we last met. My eyes are bleeding from football and I wouldn't have it any other way. We have a new #1, Michigan is gone, and so is Arizona (perhaps I was wrong about them). Boise State and Georgia Tech have joined the party. I shifted the poll liberally, based on what I saw and what I read. These spots aren't an

JHCnoreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-11743924121851481272007-09-02T08:09:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:41.729-06:00

Iowa 16 - Northern Illinois 3Iowa's D was ferocious, holding NIU to 20 yards on the ground. Jake Christensen was poised. We had no turnovers. Albert Young and Damian Sims went over 100 yards. There's clearly room for improvement but on the whole, I'm very happy with their performance. We will have a much more comprehensive look at this game later.Indiana 55 - Indiana St 7An emotional win for the

JHCnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-8484653569612467802007-09-01T05:32:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:42.399-06:00

Every week we'll be bringing you the "most important thing" to watch for that week in Iowa's game. Whether you're an expert or a novice, you'll be able to look for one thing and know, right away, if the Hawkeyes are going to win. This week is particularly easy: If we stop the run up the middle, we win. It really is that simple. If you look at film from 2002-2004 you'll find an Iowa team that was

JHCnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-80643820862833984312007-08-31T14:25:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:44.199-06:00

Lost amidst all the hub and/or bub about the off-season here at THC is the fact that Iowa actually has a game tomorrow, and it's actually against a different team. It actually never dawned on us until Thursday night that we'd never even talked about the opponent (as JHC put it, "God we're idiots.").Here's what to expect from Northern Illinois, a team that played Iowa to an even closer game than

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-83590048234140580652007-08-31T07:50:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:44.579-06:00

Let's get this out of the way right now -- we didn't start this site to attack Iowa State. This is about Iowa, the Big 10, and college football. So just know, going into this season that this isn't the place to get your Cyclone abuse on. Iowa State lost, 23-14, last night in their season opener to Kent State. 1st year Head Coach Gene Chizik sounded tighter than a drum on his radio show the other

JHCnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-13408660029791248922007-08-30T18:40:00.000-05:002007-08-31T00:33:28.536-05:00

Wisconsin is a complete enigma. I have no idea how good they're going to be, and I don't really feel like doing research to find out. So, rather than write a half-ass preview, I got a Wisconsin football expert to write the preview for me. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Wisky preview, courtesy of ZTA sorority social co-chair Tabetha SmithI interviewed Tabetha at Brother's Bar & Grill in

Hawkeye Statehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894608148962290244noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-85532880042244478582007-08-30T16:27:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:45.088-06:00

The Big Ten Network has been taking its lumps for its role in hostage-like negotiations, and rightfully so. There's something confusing and backwards about a network acquiring rights to games before taking care of distribution, but clearly I've got a lot to learn about negotiation and corporate greed.Anyhoo, if the deal gets done, then you'll pay a little more per month and you'll be able to

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-26108083247263605312007-08-30T12:23:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:45.556-06:00

Fact: Joe Tiller wears a girdle under his dungarees.Fact: I have a friend in his 30's who still wakes up in a cold sweat with night terrors because he's afraid of Gene Keady.Fact: Purdue is known for being horrible defensively, yet they've sent more guys from the defensive side of the ball to the NFL than Penn State this century.Fact: The stupidest (and ugliest girl) I've ever met flunked out of

JHCnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-57498965436830233422007-08-30T09:38:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:45.754-06:00

Right now I look like this, but without headphones. Or pants.The posts today will likely be erratic, nonsensical, and unimpeachable evidence of serious chemical imbalances. We do not give a fuck. Football! FOOTBALL!Tonight's main event is #2 LSU at #6054 Mississippi State, whose coach's most notable achievement thus far is evading the fans in pointy white hats. It will be an unmitigated slaughter

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-24375996241550157752007-08-29T19:16:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:46.135-06:00

This week's Big Ten Blogger roundtable is brought to you by Around the Oval. Without further ado:1. Which player from your own team are you most looking forward to watching?I think I speak for all of us at THC when I say, unequivocally, it's Cedric Everson. A quick recap of The Entertainer's first month on campus:Told us all about humilityDeclined a redshirt and named himself a possible starter

Hawkeye Statehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894608148962290244noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-12683256982753598082007-08-29T17:54:00.000-05:002007-09-02T18:07:29.338-05:00

This is the final bit of pure speculation you'll see with this poll. A team like Oklahoma State has a chance to fight their way back in by beating Georgia, who took their spot this week. Other teams, like Iowa and Arizona, have 1 shot to prove themselves before they're tossed into the scrap heap, never to be heard from again. For one weekend, everyone's undefeated, everyone's hopeful, and

JHCnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-19061763857652957202007-08-29T09:32:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:46.665-06:00

Rough news for lineman Alex Kanellis, he of a rocking moustache: No football this year.Kanellis had been battling post-concussion syndrome over most of training camp, and doctors have recommended that he continue to sit out. Said Ferentz:"I can't see how he would (play this year)," Ferentz said. "Let's say everything works out that he could come back, he really hasn't played offensive line (

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-82322925376775238042007-08-28T15:15:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:47.318-06:00

Someone Put The Eyes In Illini! MEEEEOOWWWWW!The Fighting Illini hail from Champaign-Urbana (pick a city and stick with it, cocksuckers). Their campus has long been home to gentlemen of questionable ethical standards, and current football coach Ron Zook is no exception. He has spent the last off-season luring highly rated prospects to a team that is 1-15 in the Big 10 since 2005, which is clear

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-20427219725097341382007-08-28T10:15:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:47.623-06:00

A quick look at who's spending time in the ice tubs...Starting LT Dace Richardson (Jr.) continues to be out as he recovers from offseason knee surgery, and he is expected to be out for at least another week. Starting RT Kyle Calloway (So.) has shifted from the right side of the line to take Richardson's place.Second-string LT Bryan Bulaga (Fr.) is questionable for Saturday's game with a shoulder

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-81519916529013783172007-08-27T23:24:00.000-05:002007-08-29T10:18:04.192-05:00

Four days in and we've finally reached Northwestern, red headed stepchild of the Big Ten. So can I get some Charlton Heston (NW '45) up in this motherfucker?There. Now I'm inspired.So, where do we start with the Wildcats? They were the only team in the country last season to pull a Michigan State against Michigan State. They were the only 1-A team to lose to New Hampshire (to be fair, they

Hawkeye Statehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894608148962290244noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-67345514396780446552007-08-27T14:42:00.001-05:002007-08-27T15:04:47.134-05:00

Many of our Iowa-based readers are probably already familiar with the work of Scothawk, a local gentleman with a penchant for making really, really cool highlight reels for the Hawkeyes. Doing so was particularly easy in 2002 and 2003, but his work in 2004 was nonpareil--I defy you to keep a dry eye during the season-end tribute.There's also a section of outstanding individual plays, including

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-58037742364365415832007-08-27T10:51:00.000-05:002007-08-28T11:11:05.615-05:00

Here's why athletic directors are frowning this morning...Unfortunately, trying to give the cop a contact high never works: Arkansas defensive end Marcus Harrison has learned an important lesson. Actually, many important lessons. Namely, if you're going to drive, wear your seat belt. And don't speed. And have a valid driver's license. And don't take drugs with you. Really, though, if you're going

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-37688275410738451642007-08-27T09:07:00.000-05:002007-09-02T18:07:03.177-05:00

Not a game has been played and we're already into week 2 of the blogpoll. We're the media and that's how we rock it. You'll notice a few minor changes. I dropped Arkansas and South Carolina a few spots based on some shenanigans over the weekend. I also added Georgia to the poll and removed Oklahoma State. Head to head, I think Georgia would beat OSU 7 out of 10 times so I made the change. I read

JHCnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-21298855719794884022007-08-26T18:49:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:48.215-06:00

I can't imagine a more difficult situation to go through for a program and a community than watching their coach fade away before their eyes. In a sport where boys are expected to be men and men are expected to be superhuman, weakness and illness aren't something you talk about. Former Indiana Head Coach Terry Hoeppner fought like a champion, lost like a hero, and cannot be replaced. He was one

JHCnoreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-16841546896203602352007-08-26T12:23:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:48.452-06:00

From blogpoll founder Brian at mGoBlog (a.k.a. The Benefactor), a couple of questions for the blogpoll voters.Who is overrated?I've already made my feelings on tOSU known, and mGoBlog stole my arguments against Georgia and Auburn, but what about Rocky Top (#17 Blogpoll, NR on our ballot)? The fact remains:Erik Ainge has nobody to throw the ball to (and is still Erik Ainge, quarterback of the "

Hawkeye Statehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894608148962290244noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-26310910470931359142007-08-26T02:18:00.000-05:002007-08-26T12:21:02.905-05:00

In light of Captain Kirk's comments from the "Citi Boyz, Inc." press conference, I give you the new two-deeps. Big changes in the offensive line (again), and an exciting new appearance at right corner:SE 80 ** Andy Brodell 6-3 200 Jr89 James Cleveland 6-1 195 #Fr.LT 78 ** Dace Richardson 6-6 305 Jr. (

Hawkeye Statehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894608148962290244noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-15225648605462007972007-08-25T12:06:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:49.289-06:00

You may not realize that the Minnesota Golden Gophers went to 7 bowl games in 8 years under Glen Mason. He may have been a wily old tomcat who spent more time in gin joints than he did watching film. He may have blown a 31 point lead in the second half to lose to Texas Tech in the Insight Bowl last season. He may have once battled me for the affections of an underage co-ed the night before the

JHCnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-6595169106211775052007-08-24T12:01:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:49.640-06:00

Editor's Note: The season starts in 8 days. Iowa plays 8 Big 10 games so it's time to roll out the previews. Let's start at the bottom, shall we? Last night, while sleeping in my bed I had a beautiful dream. I was the head coach for a Division I football team in a conference that had their own network. I had talent at every skill position, a rabid fan base, and the coolest mascot around. The

JHCnoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-40477980485692453212007-08-24T08:45:00.000-05:002007-08-24T08:56:43.629-05:00

Kirk Ferentz spoke to the media regarding the Douglas/Bowman Affair for the first time yesterday. Obviously, he couldn't delve into specifics, but what he did say was carefully crafted and bad news for the suspended receivers.“The charges are serious, and there’s a real gap right now between the information the police have provided and then also what the players have provided,” Ferentz said on

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-85691932116492441632007-08-23T11:49:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:50.040-06:00

This is going to come as a shock to nobody, but the bottom-feeders at the Press-Citizen have discovered that many football players use facebook, and they are shocked--SHOCKED!!--to find out that the football players behave like, well, typical 18-22 year-olds.The Facebook pages of more than 20 underaged University of Iowa football players have photos appearing to show them engaging alcohol in

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-71536847498655768902007-08-23T09:18:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:50.297-06:00

L to R: Marques, Da Realest Bitch AliveNot Pictured: Fuck LionArt can be scary and complicated at times, like a woman's anatomy. But occasionally it's so simple it makes you happy to be alive. The following comedy tower is built on the foundation of one of those Q&A's that the kids do on Facebook. What makes it art is the fact that it's beamed to you from the beautiful mind of Michigan's own

JHCnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-69324997763203305312007-08-22T15:52:00.000-05:002007-08-22T16:00:32.802-05:00

We've probably paid too much attention to the miscreants in the Hawkeye family, so let's dial the Wayback Machine to September 2006 and remember better times in Iowa history.The sheer feat of nine straight plays is, to be sure, amazing. I still have cannot get over the tackle Klinkenborg makes at the goal line. If he takes that direct line to the QB, all he accomplishes is knocking Patterson down

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-59691479974016828262007-08-22T15:28:00.000-05:002007-08-22T16:22:16.585-05:00

In a move that isn't really surprising at all--least of all the time frame--Mediacom has decided to actually show the Big Ten network here in Iowa.That's about all we know at the moment, this is BREAKING NEWS PEOPLE![4:15 p.m. UPDATE(!!!!): Now the athletic department is playing stupid. For crying out loud, guys. Either a deal's done or it isn't. Nobody's benefiting from this "I can't tell you;

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-73800758745022069762007-08-22T10:02:00.000-05:002007-09-02T18:00:35.077-05:00

OK, looks like Blogger's back up and running. I listened to suggestions, made some adjustments (suck on that A&M), and submitted our Week 1 BlogPoll. It's official -- we're part of the problem now! If you have a gripe, let me hear it. I should remind you, not just anyone can get a blog. They don't hand these out to trained monkeys, you know.RankTeamDelta1Southern Cal 25 2LSU 24 3Michigan 23 4West

JHCnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-36417411929290931532007-08-21T22:06:00.001-05:002009-07-14T19:14:19.067-05:00

Right about now, the Johnson County DA is looking into any cash advance from those stolen numbers...Wow.OPS says: Do we have more? Jesus yes, we have more. Fellow "City Boyz, Inc" and legal menace Arvell Nelson is (of course) involved. Seriously.This is what a month's rent looks like.Two months.That's Arvell in the middle. Not in the lower left corner. In the middle.The rest of the pictures are

Hawkeye Statehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894608148962290244noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-74119425467955178902007-08-21T21:30:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:53.227-06:00

So, just when we thought it couldn't get any worse...An arrest warrant has been issued for backup quarterback Arvell Nelson for failure to appear in court for a traffic ticket. The 19-year-old freshman was cited in early July for driving with a suspended license. He failed to pay the fine or show up for his court hearing. Officials say Nelson has contacted the police department about the

Hawkeye Statehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894608148962290244noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-39679410911251309902007-08-21T14:15:00.000-05:002007-08-21T16:18:14.560-05:00

I will warn you ahead of time that this is long and dry. For funny stuff, check out this incredibly well-executed comparison of the members of the SEC to the Bluth family. Seriously, it's outstanding.For those of you interested in what, precisely, Dominique Douglas and Anthony Bowman are charged with, here's the full text of the relevant portion of Iowa code (emphasis mine):715A.6 Credit cards.

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-31256372229267350872007-08-21T10:27:00.000-05:002007-08-21T10:46:25.116-05:00

One of the most interesting side stories in this giant embarrassment is what Nike plans on doing. You see, Iowa's deal with the sneaker pimps dictates that they market two numbered faux-jerseys to the public every year. Iowa always recommends one player from each side of the ball--this year they suggested Albert Young and Bryan Mattison--but Nike gets the final say. And since we're talking about

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-63066485073612825462007-08-20T16:30:00.000-05:002007-09-02T18:00:11.521-05:00

We know it's early for a poll but our poll is flexible and easy like a soused Cyclone cheerleader. We're looking for your comments and those of other bloggers before we officially submit for the BlogPoll. Tell us what you think. RankTeamDelta 1 Southern Cal 25 2 LSU 24 3 Michigan 23 4 West Virginia 22 5 Oklahoma 21 6 Texas 20 7 Arkansas 19 8 Ohio State 18 9 Penn

JHCnoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-22648311886609090012007-08-20T12:56:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:53.659-06:00

Chad Henne carries a purse. I wasn't surprised either. We all know where he got it.Cedric "The Entertainer" Everson intercepted 3 passes on Saturday at Kid's Day at Kinnick. He was also burned for a 60 yard TD. This is why we refer to him only as "The Entertainer" at THC headquarters.Bad things happen to Buckeyes. Chin up, boys, at least they didn't steal your sweater vests!And finally, I think

JHCnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-73348634384673025672007-08-20T12:50:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:54.127-06:00

As we've mentioned a couple times, the offending purchases were all made online at university computers. The ones where you have to sign in with your individual HawkID.That's really a shame, because if they'd actually gone to the stores, Bowman would at least have a rock-solid alibi: vs. Diddy did that shit.

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-71886599778348953522007-08-20T12:08:00.000-05:002007-08-20T12:29:11.931-05:00

According to the ICPC, Kirk Ferentz has suspended Douglas and Bowman indefinitely. I think it's the only thing he could do at this point. One quote of note was cryptic and mysterious -“As is often the case in matters of this nature, I am aware of inconsistencies in what may or may not have taken place. We need to let the legal process run its course.”Does this mean we don't know the whole story?

JHCnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-33033058936242200882007-08-20T09:41:00.000-05:002007-08-20T11:14:51.462-05:00

The rumors have been confirmed and it isn't good (it never is). According to the ICPC, Iowa WR's Dominique Douglas and Anthony Bowman were arrested Sunday Morning for unauthorized use of credit cards. That's a felony, lawya. They've been charged with using those credit cards to make $2,016.76 in purchases at area businesses. The credit cards belonged to two separate victims. Although their "plan"

JHCnoreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-56489764108816480112007-08-20T08:53:00.000-05:002007-08-20T10:56:55.582-05:00

We started hearing some rumors last night about a couple guys on the team being busted for felonious behavior. It's all been about Dominique Douglas and Anthony Bowman, and it's all been really bad. Felony bad.There hasn't been any solid information from newspapers or similarly reputable sources yet. As such, we don't have any news, good or bad, for you; just the faint reassurance that neither

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-67341261589689659502007-08-17T15:50:00.000-05:002007-08-17T16:19:17.124-05:00

Let there be no mistake about it: Cedric Everson runs the show. He hustled the recruiting sites to get his name out, he stone cold tells the coaching staff what will be up with this "redshirt" bullshit, and now, ladies and gentlemen, he makes Usher look like a stiff bitch.Honestly, Cedric might be my favorite Hawkeye right now. He's a perfect blend of athleticism and audacity, the likes of which

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-1808875268782695202007-08-17T08:20:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:54.473-06:00

OPS and I flew to Chicago to cover the Big Ten Media Conference. If you haven't read it yet, the first part of the meeting with Ron Zook is chronicled here. The second part is here. You'll want to check those out or this story may come off a little weird. The minute we got outside the hotel, the Zooker's mood changed. I thought he was difficult before; now he was impossible. I kept peppering him

JHCnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-84841494205253416442007-08-16T23:28:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:54.676-06:00

As part of our Iowa Hawkeye and Big Ten coverage, we, the writers of The Hawkeye Compulsion, will periodically visit with icons from Big 10 history and see how their lives have changed since college football. Our first visit with former Iowa quarterback Brad Banks is here. Tonight, we check in on Michigan's early 21st century halfback Mike Hart.Many of our older readers will remember a gridiron

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-84163239996322529712007-08-16T13:18:00.000-05:002007-08-16T13:22:51.132-05:00

HawkMania (I will link to them on a daily basis and you will enjoy it, readers) had a wonderful profile on Russian native Nikolai Volkoff Anton Narinskiy, whose last name will probably be the word verification in the comments. If we had that.Essentially, the guy's family dragged him over here from Russia when he was 8. He taught himself English in school, became a 2-sport all-star, and only

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-46751407905623567622007-08-15T14:18:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:54.978-06:00

We got a telegram from the UI sports department today:HELLO FANS WE MISS YOU STOP ITS VERY HOT OUT STOP MORALE IS HIGH AFTER ELEVEN PRACTICES STOP ONLY DACE AND KANELLIS ARE INJURED HOPE THEY GET BACK SOON STOP SEE YOU SATURDAY STOP LOVE KIRKOkay, so that's not what they sent out. It was a regular press release. Sadly.The ICPC's HawkCentral.com released the sports information office's missive

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-7245671740190437992007-08-15T12:15:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:55.230-06:00

We here at THC are nothing if not pop culture junkies, even as it pertains to the internet. Two of our favorite e-memes are the ubiquitous lolcats and the ever-popular countdowns to the start of the season.Here's a documentary on the highly technical computer program we used to combine the two ideas into one mind-bendingly awesome image. Prepare to have your balls and/or ovaries blown completely

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-64126151844472949152007-08-15T09:47:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:57.957-06:00

In ascending order of value...MICHIGAN STATEBig Wheel with streamersHAHAHAHA WHEEEEEEEE THIS IS ENJOYABLE BECAUSE I HAVE THE MENTAL ACUITY OF A FOUR YEAR OLD LETS HAVE A PIZZA PARTYINDIANAFord Probe that got totaled by someone without insuranceThey weren't that good to begin with, even before the recent disaster. Now, it's a matter of finding someone willing to put in a lot of effort just to get

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com42tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-31953606638995553852007-08-14T14:00:00.000-05:002007-08-14T14:50:22.716-05:00

Indeed, good news out of New Orleans today as Ferentz joins the Saints, most likely for a stint on the practice squad or something. Even though it's highly unlikely that Ferentz overtakes perpetual grump Jeff Faine as the starting center, well, the fact that we're even talking about Ferentz right now is in and of itself a minor miracle.First of all, Brian Ferentz wasn't always a lock for Iowa. He

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-6050877921916186962007-08-14T08:45:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:58.515-06:00

Hey, Jebus here. I'm a professional journalist now, so I did what we do and flew to Chicago with OPS to cover the Big Ten Media Conference. His meeting with Ron Zook is, chronicled here. If you haven't seen it yet, you need to. So, we're in Chicago and I was just starting to have fun when I got a harried phone call from OPS. Here's the transcript from the call (that got me out of bed):OPS: Wake

JHCnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-60334224835984960232007-08-14T07:48:00.000-05:002007-08-14T07:55:43.305-05:00

Not pictured: Andy Brodell rips a panda's head off, then beats another panda to death with it.

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-79103240400353688162007-08-13T14:18:00.000-05:002007-08-13T14:45:11.388-05:00

From time to time, I'll start thinking crazy, folks, and I'll need someone to talk me out of it.Topic 1: I don't think Dominique Douglas should start.Now. He's the best route-runner on the team, and he's got the most starting experience of any of the receivers we've got (read that again and think about it). He rewrote the freshman record books last year, leading the team with 49 catches and

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-88528118425068828912007-08-13T10:28:00.000-05:002007-10-08T17:49:51.126-05:00

(Legal disclaimer: you should not believe a single word of any of this)One of the perks of being a Big Ten Blogger(tm) is that we're granted unlimited access to all Big Ten media functions, like this past week's Big Ten Media Conference. Sure, we're technically not members of the media, but I am an excellent string-puller (for future reference, readers, think long and hard before you agree to

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-81892755258230871352007-08-13T08:40:00.001-05:002007-08-13T23:25:33.025-05:00

We spent the weekend working on a shocking expose of Illinois head coach Ron Zook. We'll be bringing that to you throughout the week, depending on how quickly our lawyers tell us we can print certain parts.Past that, the Harty Party wants you to not talk about certain things anymore, days after it's all his paper talked about. Thanks Pat, you lovable syrup-covered hack.The QC Times, of course,

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-81982027630275608352007-08-09T17:34:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:58.801-06:00

(thanks to Jeebsy for his help in getting me through this post from an emotional standpoint. This was rough)One of the recurring themes that we at THC will be featuring this year is "High School Highlights," where we harness the power of the Youtubes to bring you a sneak peek at up-and-coming talent. I've never seen a bad one. You're either knocked out by the sick athleticism or endlessly

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-65540771248578933042007-08-09T15:08:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:59.095-06:00

More hat tips, daps, mean mugs and shoulder shrugs to Brian at mgoblog for unearthing this picture of J Leman, which somehow is not a photoshop:All-conference linebacker, all-world hair.There's so much about that picture that's mind-altering, not the least of which is the notion that "J Leman" is a white guy. Meanwhile, I'll be spending the next week scouring Goodwill locations in the southern

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-63485104022871514382007-08-09T14:48:00.000-05:002007-08-09T16:15:41.290-05:00

Two articles available today about the Big Ten network: One is from the Press-Citizen's Ryan Suchomel, with the unfortunate title of "BTN set to tackle airwaves." It starts off with this wholly unbiased gem:The Big Ten Network plans to provide fans with all the Big Ten football news they could ever want.Wow! Neato! The rest of the article is just quotes from a few of the on-air guys, preceded by

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-36406826586922797882007-08-09T12:20:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:59.470-06:00

Tony Cornelius, a tailback from Boca Raton, committed to the Hawkeyes today. While I'm sure there's a specific number of stars arbitrarily attached to his name (somewhere between 1-4), the great news is that is father is The Don Cornelius*.One can only assume that the Iowa football program will take the opportunity to become the hippest trip in the Big Ten.They're known as the hit makers, record

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-21024778649050127112007-08-08T22:31:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:23:59.701-06:00

On my old blog, I lamented the outright douchiness of the Nile Kinnick statue unveiled to much fanfare last season. Now, it seems, amends are being made. From The ICPC:For the second year in a row, the University of Iowa plans to unveil a sculpture that delves deep into Hawkeye lore. This year's masterpiece captures Nile Kinnick scoring the winning touchdown in the legendary 7-6 victory over

Hawkeye Statehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894608148962290244noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-23618650087960959972007-08-08T21:04:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:24:00.153-06:00

I don't want OPS to have all the fun...The DMR has given its writers space for "blogs." These are generally used for mindless drivel, usually completed with a question put in boldface type. These questions get to the deep-seeded questions of life, such as, "Are the ISU placekicker's YouTube music videos good?" (Hint: No.) Of course, nobody answers.Sean Keeler has already been targeted this

Hawkeye Statehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894608148962290244noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-2341338241840898042007-08-08T14:18:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:24:00.419-06:00

Here's where Media Day gets fun. The first day's articles are always chock full of blindingly obvious shit like, "the offense will depend on its quarterback and running back!" Really? We're not even going to try the 11-lineman formation? Bullshit!The real fun happens on Wednesdays and Thursdays. That's when we hear from nutballs like Jon Misch and incoming cornerback Cedric Everson."I do want to

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-39716476055688453712007-08-08T12:34:00.000-05:002007-08-08T14:18:43.430-05:00

Notre Dame Stadium. Joe Paterno. Yes, college football is unmatched in its reverence for relics, long past the point of utility. There is perhaps no better illustration of such strange allegiance than the relatively useless 40-yard dash.While there is probably some merit to how quickly a college football player can sprint straight ahead for 40 yards without pads on, well, there isn't much. There

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-80935824554992894942007-08-08T09:38:00.000-05:002007-08-08T10:32:39.662-05:00

From the Lansing State-Journal, via the freakishly informative SMQ...Every college football team has one - a 200-pound starting linebacker with a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, clinically diagnosed hyperactivity, classical piano skills and absolutely no interest in sports.On second thought, Jon Misch has to be the first.The article gets weirder after that. The guy learned how to play The Entertainer

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-27734064205318265382007-08-07T15:47:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:24:01.924-06:00

If it seems like I have an unhealthy obsession with the Press-Citizen's Hawkeye beat reporter Pat Harty, it's because, well, it's hard not to. It's a residual effect: as he lavishes undue attention upon himself as he writes the columns, so must I as I read them.If you thought his decision to try to bait good-guy Bryan Mattison into selling out Coach Ferentzwas upsetting, however, then you may

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-74912051186142965292007-08-06T22:45:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:24:02.069-06:00

As part of our Iowa Hawkeye and Big Ten coverage, we, the writers of The Hawkeye Compulsion, will periodically visit with icons from Big 10 history and see how their lives have changed since college football.Our first visit is with former Iowa quarterback Brad Banks.Brad Banks burst onto the scene in 2002 with a scintillating senior campaign with the Iowa Hawkeyes. The Belle Glade, Florida native

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-12527823343538530852007-08-06T13:22:00.000-05:002007-08-06T13:35:32.628-05:00

The ICPC is reporting changes to the depth charts already, announced at Iowa's Media Day. Here's the meat of it:• Julian Vandervelde, a red shirt freshman from Davenport, from second string right guard to starting left guard.• Andy Kuempel to second string left tackle.• Tyler Blum from second string left tackle to second string right guard.• Wes Aeschliman from second string right tackle to

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-44950494731690717862007-08-06T11:15:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:24:02.508-06:00

The state of Iowa, while a good source of writers, is far from an attractive destination. It is, no doubt, frustrating for parents to try to encourage their young children to read the newspaper, only to find out that their easily impressionable minds are subjected to hacks like Nancy Clark and Pat Harty (or even worse, us).Child: "Daddy, daddy! I read the newspaper like you told me to, and I

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-28368670057397109732007-08-04T15:41:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:24:02.716-06:00

The Hawkeye Compulsion is now a member of Big Ten Bloggers, a group set up by Black Shoe Diaries, Around the Oval, and Maize 'n Brew to enhance intraconference blogging. The first installment of the Big Ten Bloggers roundtable comes courtesy of Badger Sports. Enjoy. The press and the coaches will be predicting the Big Ten champ at the Hyatt Regency in Chicago on Wednesday. That's fine, but

Hawkeye Statehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894608148962290244noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-3918197043742284292007-08-02T22:29:00.000-05:002007-08-03T18:36:45.090-05:00

There's a unique satisfaction that comes along with seeing the first depth chart of the summer. It's almost the exact opposite feeling of seeing the mall's first Christmas decorations in early October, which probably has a lot to do with Bing Crosby's involvement with each situation.Most of these rankings are, of course, subject to immediate change. While we're probably not going to see

Oops Pow Surprisenoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8637181995607225218.post-91068743244034688952007-07-16T08:20:00.000-05:002008-11-15T01:24:03.476-06:00

The minute we got outside the hotel, the Zooker's mood changed. I thought he was difficult before; now he was impossible. I kept peppering him with questions, but trying to keep his attention was futile. I finally stopped talking and just got in-step behind him.We got into a bit of a rhythm after a block or so. He moved down the street at a breakneck pace, covering ground like a silver topped

JHCnoreply@blogger.com8